2002

101. Cinemassacre 101 (a.k.a. 101 Damnations)
25 minutes
This was done for school. The assignment was to make a "personal" film. Since this was my 101st movie, it was appropriate to make a documentary celebrating and making fun of the 100 films of Cinemassacre. This is sort of like a documentary you'd see about Steven Spielberg, but it's about me, and I made it myself which is sort of the joke. It's a very funny documentary. It's sort of like American Movie.

102. Moron Marathon
3 minutes
This was for school. The assignment was to make a chase film, so I made it like a silent slapstick comedy. Sort of an homage to Chaplin and Keaton. (shot on film which sounded like a good idea, but the convenience of video would have allowed me to get every shot the way I really wanted.)

2003

103. The Boy Who Could Telepathically Tell If Butter Has Salt In It or Not
4 minutes
After completing Cinemassacre 101, I began to miss the old days where my only actors were my neighborhood friends. Everything was always rushed, nobody was serious with what they were doing, funny accidents would happen and continuity would be thrown out the window. So, I gathered together my old buddies and we made our first movie in 4 years. I even edited it on my two vcr's like I used to and the result looked just like one of my old movies. The story involves a superhero whose only power is to tell wether or not butter has salt in it. This is possibly the most ridiculous movie I've made recently.

104. 1.21 Gigawatts
2 minutes
This is my homage to Christopher Lloyd's hilarious portrayl of the crazy scientist Doc Brown in the Back to the Future movies. I've always wondered why they made that character so over-the-top, so I took his funniest screams, gestures and lines of dialgoue out of their context and made rythyms out of them. This is one of very few movies I've made that I've watched alone to amuse myself.
WATCH

105. Generation: T.M.N.T.
5 minutes
This is a documentary I made about playing with Ninja Turtle action figures. My deeper intention was to show that you're never too old to have fun. By the time we were in high school, it was socially not cool to still be playing with toys so out of peer pressure, we hid all our toys in our closets to get covered in dust, forgotten. What I found out was that in college, everybody enjoys unburying the memories of their past time, and once again, toys are cool. The highlight of this video is the Ninja Turtles theme song in which I made a tongue-in-cheek mock of late 80's toy commercials.

106. Lazer Farm 2010
1 minute
Nothing but farm animals shooting lazers and blowing each other up. If you see it, you won't believe it!
WATCH

107. Curse of the Cat Lover's Grave
12 minutes
After making so many horror parodies and offshoots, I decided to go back to my roots and make a straight-out HORROR film, an homage to the movies I grew up on. This was my big Junior film in college. One guideline I had to follow for the assignment was to make it a "tryptch", a film in three parts. What I did was this: split the film into three acts which deal with the three basic horror film styles, the old fashioned chiller, (example: Nosferatu), the shocker, (ex. Friday the 13th) and the bloody splatter flick (ex. Dawn of the Dead). The plot involves a theif who steals a sacred cat idol from a grave and then is cursed to become a cat monster. (the third time I've remade this basic story.) The splatter part involves some of my best gore effects to date.
WATCH IT ON STUDENTFILMS.COM

108. Monkey Cheez 3K
1 minute
Insane animated short about monkies and cheese and "Monkey Cheez."
WATCH

109. The (Boston) Tea Potty
3 minutes
I visited my friend in Boston, brought my camera, and decided to make "Zone Out III" a sequel to the first two Zone Outs which we made together, while in the same college, but we came up with a better idea: to have a tea party with stuffed animals, and let the comedy unwind by itself.

2004

110. Crash and Burn: California
3 minutes

Me and my neighbor Jim, our two-piece band, DraXoniZ, attempted to write and record our first death metal song in under an hour, so we could make a music video. It's an homage to California, the action movie capital of the world, governed by The Terminator himself. I experimented with blue screening for the first time. While it didn't look technically perfect, it fit the video's style just right. I pulled out as many cheesey effects that I could come up with at the time and the result is one of my most eye-popping films to date. This is probably the most fun I had making a movie in a while, and people seem to really enjoy it, even though it's something I whipped up pretty quick.

111. The Return of Munky Cheez: Munky Cheez 3k, Part 2
2 minutes

WATCH
The first Monkey Cheez movie was so funny and so bizarre, that I couldn't resist making a sequel. In this one, there is a whole Monkey family. The mom and dad yell at each other while the kids sit around the TV, screaming monkey cheese. Again, it's very off-the-wall and garaunteed to have a very interesting audience reaction.

112. The Death Suit
9 minutes

This one was made for the Philadelphia 48 Hour Film Project, a contest that spreads all around the U.S. where a group of production teams in a city, each have to make a film in under 48 hours, from scratch. On the first day, everybody meets up to draw a genre out of a hat, such as "Comedy", "Romance", "Superhero", "Western"...etc. Then, everyone is given a line of dialogue, a character, and a prop which all must be used in the film. You have to WRITE, SHOOT, and EDIT the entire movie and come back with it by the end of the 48 hours.

My film was about an insane magician who wears a Queen of Hearts outfit everywhere he goes. His paranoid wife thinks he is cheating on her, so she hires a detective to watch over him, but all hell breaks loose.

The finsihed 48 hour films played at the Prince Theater in Philly and The Death Suit got an extraordinary reaction over two specific parts. One was a dream scene where our main character stands in front of Veteran's Stadium which collapses in front of him as he uses his magic powers. (We took advantage of the stadium's real demolishment that was scheduled during our film shoot.) The other scene was the climax in which the character's wife knocks his head off with a rubber chicken. Head decapitations were always a Cinemassacre tradition, but this was the first one that was done digitally by our effects team at Uncalled For Productions. Speaking of team work, I had a great crew, great actors, a team of editors, graphic designers, composers and Diliculum Films produced it. All of this collaborative effort is what made this film so successful. So come on, guys! Let's make another movie.

113. The Jersey Odysseys: Episode 1, Legend of the Blue Hole
22 minutes


This was my senior film for college which I spent a year working on. It was the first to use my new DVX100 camera and looks a lot more professional. The story is about a rebel and his search for the unknown. When he hears of a mystical place called The Blue Hole where many people have disappeared, he becomes determined to find it. The Blue Hole is a real place. It's a small clear lake rumored to be bottomless and a passageway directly to hell. People who swim in it, get pulled down by something and drown. According to scientific theories, the hole was created by a meteor and that it upwelled by underwater springs that are so cold that they make swimmers cramp up and sink. However, the old folklore says that it's the devil reaching up and grabbing you. But maybe it could be something else?

This is the pilot episode of a series I am planning to make which will be a collection of Twilight Zone-like tales of suspense and terror based upon REAL local legends around the state of New Jersey.

More info on The Jersey Odysseys

114. The Angry Nintendo Nerd Presents: Castlevania 2
9 minutes (?)
Rating: 7
Certain video games frustrate me a lot and a few of them even piss me off so much that I have to make movies about how irritating they are. For comedic effect, I take them real seriously as if I am genuinely angry about games that were made back in the 80's and that they have haunted and tormented me through my adolescent years and beyond.

115. The Angry Nintendo Nerd Presents: Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde
8 minutes (?)
Second in the "Angry Nintendo Nerd" series. This one covers Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde for NES, which can possibly, in my opinion, be the absolute #1 WORST game ever made. It's so bad that my voice over couldn't do it justice, so I come on-screen and beg people to stay away from this game at all costs. I take it over-the-top.

 

116. MUNKY GO BOOM:
(The Return of Munky Cheez, Part 2: Munky Cheez 3k, Part 3)
3 minutes
WATCH
Third in the Munky Cheez series and so far the most elaborate, full of special effects and explosions. This one is a music video to an original song I produced full of cheap synth loops and lyrics about monkeys, cheez, explosions, and other stupid nonsense. A real fun video!

 

117. BEER MAN
11 minutes

While working at a liquor store, I began wondering why there are so many kinds of beer and why people like to get drunk so much. I came up with an idea for a movie about the ultimate party man, a guy who wears a costume made of beer boxes and runs around, crashing parties, trying to get people to have fun. The sad part is that many people can't seem to have fun without being drunk and this is what beer man realizes throughout the film. The original idea of beer man was that he was an alcoholic on the outside, quite literally, since his body is covered in beer boxes, but on the inside, he's just a guy who wants to spread joy, but uses beer as his exterior motive. However, when I finally got a chance to make this movie, I was real limited with actors and time, so we had to finish all the shooting in under 2 hours and the underlying themes pretty much got lost in improv and random comedy. Still, while it barely makes any sense, the film retains an awkward atmoshpere where audience's aren't sure whether to laugh or not. When watching the film, it takes you on an up and down ride of laughs and depressing moments, just the way it is when you're drunk. After all, alcohol is a depressant and this movie captures that esscense perfectly, I think, if anything.

118. KIRK VS. ...
45 minutes
Captain Kirk got into a lot of fights. In fact, he's been in more fights than any of his crew members of the starship Enterprise all combined. Whether he's up against The Gorn, Kahn, Spock, or a clone of his own self, nothing can keep him down. Watch him go as he exchanges punches with his enemies, clumsily rolls along the floor, kicks off of walls, body dives and clubs his opponents in the back with both hands clenched together. Now for the very first time, here are all the best Kirk fight scenes strung incoherently together, devoid of context or story.

I edited an opening to the DVD, designed elaborate menu screens and included many bonus features (strange and funny videos starring William Shatner). So, because of all the work I put into it, it seems I must count it on my filmography, even though it's not an actual movie.

119. Mechanical Losses
5 minutes
I finally sold my old car and because it starred in so many movies of mine, I decided to document myself driving it for the last time while being overly sentimental about it for comedic effect. Before I even got to edit the footage, my new car ended up being destroyed. After about 9 days of driving it, a 24 foot utility trailer detached from a truck in the oncoming lane of traffic. It skidded over the yellow lines and came right at me. Bam! Head on collision. While the front of my car was smashed like a tin can, I came out perfectly fine. Honestly, it was probably the most life-altering and traumatizing thing that I've ever gone through, so naturally, I made a movie about it. It's an odd mix of humor and seriousness.

 

120. The Free for All Film Fest Memorial
7 minutes
Footage from the 2003 (and final) Free for All Film fest, an anual film festival I ran at my school, UArts.

2005

121. The Mexican Mummy
2 minutes
A crazy mummy, (wrapped in toilet paper) awakens after 3000 years, drinks some tequila, eats some tacos and dances to the mexican hat dance. Well actually, he doesn't eat any tacos, but tacos do fly around.

 

122. T.G.I. Monkey Cheez
3 minutes
Unfinished.

123. Death Seen
6 minutes
My second 48 Hour film project. A creepy tale of a mysterious figure in black wandering Philadelphia. Watch it.

 

124. Dog Shit
3 minutes
Music video for a song by GG Allin.

 

125. The Deader the Better
17 minutes
Lloyd and his partner Earl work overnight in
a cemetery where the dead rise from their
graves to devour human flesh, or at least try.
Lloyd’s job duty is to keep the corpses down,
which he accomplishes by slaughtering them
brutally. Earl reluctantly cleans the mess,
annoyed by his partner’s sloppy work and his
lack of respect for the dead. If they can
manage to get along, they might get out alive,
because this night, all hell’s gonna break loose!
WATCH IT.

 

126. George A. Romero's WAR OF THE DEAD
1 Hour 18 minutes
A tribute to my favorite horror series, the four "dead" films. Basically, a condensed feature fusing all the films into one. In no way is this supposed to be a substitute for watching Romero's films in their entirety. It's just a new way at looking at the overall theme: the living versus the dead. I did this as an homage and it was made just for fun as well as a challenging editing excercise.

2006

127. Death Secret
6 minutes
Made for the Philadelphia 48 Hour Film Project 2006. Again, I drew the Spy genre. The prop was high heel shoes. The character was a cartographer and the line of dialogue was "First, put your feet like this." Watch it here.

128. Snakes on a Plane trailer
6 minutes
Overwhelmed by the ENORMOUS cult fanbase the movie "Snakes on a Plane" has gotten even before its release, I was astounded to see how many fan-made posters and trailers are all over the internet. Well, I decided to get in on the fun and make my own. If you're that curious, you can watch it here.

129. The Lost ROCKY Montage
4 Minutes
Using clips from the first 3 Rocky movies, I edited together what I think would have been the definitive Rocky montage in 1984. This is the same year the progressive rock band Survivor released Vital Signs, which many consider to be their best album. For the montage, I used the first track from the album, "I Can't Hold Back." Two years before, In 1982, Survivor was commissioned by Sylvester Stallone to record "Eye of the Tiger" for Rocky III. Then in 1985, they did another song for Rocky IV, "Burning Heart." Inbetween that, if there was another Rocky movie, this is what it would have been like. Watch it!

130. The Angry Nintendo Nerd Presents: Karate Kid
5 Minutes
Third in a series where I portray an angry video game freak who is frustrated by the worst Nintendo games. This time I ham it up a little more.

131. The Angry Nintendo Nerd Presents: Roger Rabbit
5 Minutes
Fourth in a series where I portray an angry video game freak who is frustrated by the worst Nintendo games.


132. Heaven and Hell (a.k.a. One Man's Epic)
7 minutes / 5 minutes
This was my first movie shot outside of the country, during a trip to England & Scotland. I cut two versions of this. One is a music video for Black Sabbath's "Heaven and Hell". The other has an original score by Ryan Paul.

133. Wizard of Oz 3
24 minutes
An animated spoof of Wizard of Oz. A mix of South Park, Monty Python and Aqua Teen Hunger Force humor.

First there was:
"WIZARD OF OZ" (1939) Dorothy gets stranded in the land of Oz, meets the Scarecrow, Tin Man, & Lion for the first time and kills the Wicked Witch of the East & West.
Then there was:
"RETURN TO OZ" (1985)
Dorothy escapes a psychiatric experiment, fleeing back to Oz and finds that Oz is all fucked up by the Nome King. Famous characters from the first movie are altered, Toto is replaced by a chicken, and everything is dark and twisted.
NOW:
Everything's going to get EVEN MORE FUCKED UP!
"WIZARD OF OZ 3" (2006)
Dorothy has to go back to Oz again to save her friends from Satan. Now Toto is replaced by Shit Pickle and we get to find out where that red brick road leads to.

WATCH IT ON CINEMASSACRE.COM
WATH THE CENSORED VERSION ON YOUTUBE.COM

WATCH THE TRAILER, QT 15 MB
WATCH THE TRAILER ON YOUTUBE.COM

134. The Angry Ninteno Nerd Presents: TMNT
7 Minutes
5th in the Angry Nintendo Nerd series. This time I rip the original Ninja Turtles game a new asshole.

135. Dump Shit Safety
10 Minutes
A spoof of really bad industrial training videos. This is an in-joke.

136. The Angry Ninteno Nerd Presents: Back to the Future
7 Minutes
6th in the Angry Nintendo Nerd series.

137. The Angry Ninteno Nerd Presents: McKids
7 Minutes
7th in the Angry Nintendo Nerd series.

138. The Angry Ninteno Nerd Presents: Wally Bear and the No Gang
4 Minutes
8th in the Angry Nintendo Nerd series.

139. 1.21 Gigawatts (Redux)
3 Minutes
A new improved version (complete re-edit) of 1.21 Gigawatts, my tribute to Christopher Lloyd as Doc Brown in Back to the Future.

140. The Angry Ninteno Nerd Presents: Master Chu and the Drunkard Hu
4 Minutes
9th in the Angry Nintendo Nerd series.

141. The Angry Ninteno Nerd Presents: Top Gun
7 Minutes
10th in the Angry Nintendo Nerd series.

142. The Angry Ninteno Nerd Presents: Double Dragon 3
4 Minutes
11th in the Angry Nintendo Nerd series.

143. The Angry Ninteno Nerd Presents: "The Anger Begins"
1 Minute
12th in the Angry Nintendo Nerd series and movie #143, though ironically this is the earliest video footage of me that's been counted as one of my movies, so it should really be #1. It's a short clip of me playing Nintendo for my very first time in 1988. And some things never change.

144. The Angry Nintendo Nerd Presents: "Friday the 13th"
12 Minutes

145. The Angry Nintendo Nerd Presents: "Nightmare on Elm St"
14 Minutes

146. The Angry Nintendo Nerd Presents: "POWER GLOVE"
12 Minutes

147. The Angry Nintendo Nerd Presents: "Chronologically Confused..."
12 Minutes

148. The Angry Nintendo Nerd Presents: "Wii Salute"
5 Minutes

149. The Angry Video Game Nerd: "Rocky (SMS)"
9 Minutes

150. What Was I Thinking? (The Making of the Angry Video Game Nerd)
13 Minutes?
Bonus feature for the Angry Video Game Nerd DVD.

 

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